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Friday, August 18, 2006

Comments

Keith

No words of wisdom but will keep you in prayer. It won't help but my girlfriend is going through same thing.

Laura

Praying!! Thanks for the update.

Barbara

I wish I could be there to give you a hug!
I want you to read what I say over and over because it will help if you let it sink in.
What you are feeling is normal. Read that again. Normal! You don't need to move on. You don't need to snap out of it. You don't need to let your dad go. Not yet.
Grief is a process that in some ways never ends. I am not of the belief of the "5 Stages of Grief" (Kubler-Ross). I believe it is more like a Figure 8. The most difficult part is near the centre; when we feel the most pain and when it is so raw we want to die ourselves. We go around and around. Sometimes it takes years to move away from the centre. (Such as the case of a parent, spouse or child.) After months of years we move away only to find ourselves where we started.
You are going to have a lot of really sad days dear one. A lot. But they won't last forever and you will start to feel yourself move away. Some days you might even feel like you don't want to move away because you love your dad and it feels like you are letting him go.
But time really does heal all. Time will pass and so will this deep horrible grief.
The key is to allow it to come. Allow it to flow over you and don't push it aside. You can't push it aside any more than you can hold back the tides of the ocean. In fact, accept the tears and pain that comes as a friend because that will bring healing.
Let me end with a story of my own. My Nana died just over 2 years ago now. Every family gathering I would say to everyone that was there that I knew she was with us. It was if I could smell her perfume and feel her smile and it felt terrible because I missed her so much. Last weekend we had a family gathering and I looked over at her bench that she liked to sit on. For the first time I knew she was gone. I had finally let her go. I knew all I had now were my memories. And it felt good.
Hang on to the Comforter. (((hugs)))

pogonip

Chana dear, you have a right to be sad sometimes. Even us cup-half-full types are allowed to be thoroughly down sometimes. Your dad was such a huge part of your life--how could you not miss him sometimes? Hang in there and it'll get better, little by little. I promise. Hugs!

Karen

Not a day goes by that I don't miss OUR dad dearly. One of these days you would think that I wouldn't have any tears left. I will grieve for him until the day I die. You need to remember that you DO have love, support AND a purpose. It is just hard some days to realize it when you are grieving so hard. OUR dad taught us to love and to be loved, he also taught us to support each other and he also left us with a purpose...and that purpose is that we should continue to take care of mom and his grandchildren and to be able to do that we have to be strong each and every day just like OUR dad was. He taught us to be strong and we just have to try to make him proud of us! I just hope and pray that one day my own children will see even a little bit of what my dad taught me. I LOVE YOU CHANA!!!

Busy Mom

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I feel the same way about the yellow bracelet, if that helps any. The kids still wear them, I just can't anymore.

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