Bunny Burrow: In 29 years...

I am 6 years old. It is summer and I am in the backyard. My Dad has just mowed the lawn and the sprinkler is on. I can smell the fresh cut grass all around me and when I close my eyes I can hear the sprinkler's cycles. I am in my bathing suit swinging on my swing set. I can feel the impression of the swing being stamped onto the backs of my legs.

My 16 year old sister is laying out on an old bedsheet on the now flat lawn baking in baby oil with wet cotton balls on each eye. She lays beside our overgrown strawberry patch. Her long hair is splayed all around her. She is beautiful.

I swing as high as I can. I tip my head all the way back and all I can see is blue sky. My first dog I can ever remember, Fluffy, is panting in the shade waiting for me to stop. I swing until I think I am going to loop over the top of my swingset then stiffen my legs out straight and lay back, letting my hair brush the ground. The smell of the fresh cut lawn is intoxicating.

I stop and twist the chains on the swing over my head and spin until I am dizzy. I think to myself that I can't wait until I am a grown up. What can it possibly be like to look in the mirror and know you need a bra? What is it like to be a REAL Mom and not just a pretend one to your babydolls? What will I be when I grow up? Will I be a good Mom? Will I travel? Will I be loved?

I thought summer would NEVER get here. Even though I wanted it desperately, I knew it would be a long summer. None of my school friends lived near me and I already missed them. Speaking of friends, all of them had already turned 7 and my birthday wasn't until September. This is just one more thing that would seemingly take years to get to. I sighed at the thought of it.

I have looked up into the bright sky for so long that I know when I go into the darkness of the house I will only see spots for a few minutes. The Texas heat is almost unbearable.

I look over at my sister who has rolled over to bake the other side of her body. She turns up her radio so that now I can't hear the whir of the sprinkler.

I jump out of my swing and hurdle over the sprinkler a few times before going in to fix myself some lemonade. Fluffy follows. Someday I'll know what it's like to be a grown-up, but for now I'll just concentrate on being 6.

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Is it 29 years later, I am 35. I have always wanted to be older and now I am. I sit in my backyard and watch my 2 sons frolic in the pool. I put on sunscreen and watch to make sure they are not playing too rough. My dog, Beau, watches with me anxiously as the boys splash and play.

I am sweating like a pig as I look back to my summer book of the week. We haven't planned our summer vacation yet and they are already out of school for the summer. There is so much to be done and so little time to do it.

I hear a cry and look up only to see that it was in fun. When did I get this old? Sometimes I wonder what it must feel like to be a child once again, young and innocent.

Time is passing by so fast. I can't believe this summer I will be a Mother to a teenage son. Am I ready for this? It seems like just yesterday that they both didn't even know how to swim and now they are doing flips off the diving board. Why is time passing so fast? Come September I will turn 36 and that will be here before I know it. Didn't I just HAVE a birthday?

I gulp down the rest of my lemon water and jump into the pool to cool off making sure I splash them both.