In surfing the net, I read this and thought it was a good helpful reminder. In this hectic time of holidays, let's not forget we still want polite children.
I wasn't even sure I was going to publish this or not. And yet, seeing as I am using this as my venue to vent, I could not resist.
Sometimes in life, there are people that just for whatever reason have decided that they will never like you. So this story goes...
Once in a blue moon ago, my husband and I were having some personal differences. This had NOTHING to do with anyone else, but somehow people think that what goes on behind our closed doors at our house is everyone's business. Interesting -- huh?
After our reconciliation a certain woman decided that I was evil. She proceeded to spread rumours, lies, and be very vindictive when I had never done ANYTHING at all to her, trying to pull in all sorts of people. The story I got was, "Oh she's just jealous," or "She doesn't understand," and on and on. What is she jealous of? What does she need to understand? Why is my life any of her business? I don't get it. I apologized for whatever it was I did or didn't do, but that seemingly wasn't good enough. This person chose to be very dogmatic in her philosophy that my personal life now was open for her to make choices regarding her attitude towards me.
For quite some time, she tried to make my life as uncomfortable as possible whenever I was around. Well, you might say -- DON'T be around this person. Oh, I can assure you it isn't intentional. For reasons that will go unsaid here in this post, our paths do cross and it is inevitable.
For a while I have to admit that it wasn't as hurtful as it was interesting and made me a bit curious. After another while, it became downright entertaining to even people other than myself. So, try as she may I just took the high road and looked the other way.
Until NOW. Keep in mind this has been going on for years. Me looking the other way, her trying as she may to provoke me in all sorts of ways. Well, she couldn't figure out how to push my buttons so she kept on pressing. NOW, she has decided to slanderize my children. Still, I do not think it is even worth my time or effort to try and confront this person. Some believe that my error in trying to figure out this person is trying to figure out this person to begin with. She doesn't make sense in MANY areas of her life, as evidenced by her current accomplishments, status and relationships as well.
The irony of it ALL, is that I have done everything in my life to make sure my children are accommodated for and taken care of -- even at a great expense to me in some cases. I have been put in situations where I stood to lose plenty for my children, but made choices on the basis of their character, future role-modeling, and what was in their best interest. Now then, this person that I have been speaking of ALSO has a son that she has not even raised, by her own choice, due to her lifestyle. As far as I can tell, she has just begun in recent years to begin establishing a full-time relationship with her son. So, I ask you -- how can such a person stand to judge?
That is the question I will never understand. It was amusing to begin with and now it is just downright OLD. I wonder how people such as this have gotten this far in life with such immature habits of judgement. Everyone always knew how opinionated she always was and quick to label groups or people with stereotypes. She is also known for pulling statistics out of her head without any reference for them.
Recently, supposedly, she has been trying to get an education. Who knows? Maybe she even got her GED? Whatever her education, apparently the streets, it doesn't seem to be one that includes any ethics or morals.
My question is, why are some people so bitter that their goal in life is to try and hurt other people. Is it truly bitterness? Or is it insecurity or jealousy? I really can't be sure and may never know the answer.
All I know is I have friends and family that love me unconditionally and at this point do not have any desire to try and make any sorts of amends with this person anymore. Try as I may, it would do no good. I was told to give her time, give her room, etc... Although I'm not sure what for. I have done what I needed to do and now she can brew in whatever hostile animosity she has of her own doing. That's something apparently she needs to deal with on her own.
I am letting go of this and letting God deal with it. I cannot control the actions of others, even if they are spiteful and hurtful -- so it is best to let them go.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!!!
I couldn't very well have Thanksgiving come and ago and have that last post still be up there! On a more positive note we are off to my Mother's for Thanksgiving for the first time in 30 years. S is home and we are so thankful that we can all be together.
Remember all those things we have to be thankful for and have a GREAT day with your loved ones.
Ok, Phyulum Chordate, Class Vertebrata, Order Mammalia, Family Primates, Genus Homo, Species sapiens sapiens,..sub species? Ok SO many things in common, who would have thought that a mere GENDER difference could cause so much chaos? Afterall, we are both human -- right? Hmm, I WILL have to ponder on that one for a bit.
As many of you know, I have been sick. Kidney stones and such, and my experience has not been shall we say -- festive? I felt safe, however, in the knowledge that my significant other, from now on referred to as SO or honey would be there to take care of me and make sure I was well. Then I woke up from that fairytale and soon entered my life of sickness, the nightmare of my reality.
Remember the vows people used to say? For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health??? I don't recall that part being revoked at any point, but maybe that's because the until death do us part happens quicker for those women who are sick. Sad, but true I am beginning to realize.
The day I got out of the hospital, and I mean LEAVING the hospital my SO says he will take me to lunch, and also my family members who came while I was in surgery. Oh good, I think. I am thinking soup, or that sort of thing being that I haven't eaten all day and just awakened from anesthesia. WRONG! I am quickly whisked away to a nearby Mexican restaurant that we don't frequent because it isn't in our neighborhood but nearby the hospital. Afterall, can't waste this trip on nothing right??? OK. So while everyone is filling up on hot sauce and stuffed jalapenoes and the like I am running back and forth to the bathroom thinking I may be ill.
WAIT! It gets better! Sooooo, that night my Mom offers to bring us by some dinner. What is that, my sweet SO asks. Some chicken? Oh, forget it! You can eat that stuff, I'm having something else is the reply. No, I say...I want us to eat together. Well, to be honest...he let's me know he is really hungry for Pei Wei. This is the fast food gourmet version of PF Chang's, a very good (and spicy) chinese restaurant. Hmmm,... No, I don't think I can eat that and besides it is 25 minutes away. I DID just have surgery today. The response: OK, forget it then! Ughhhhhhhh....
So guess where we dined? Yep, Pei Wei with my parents. Ok, I'm thinking rice, soup, tea and that sort might not be so bad? I try to go sit down as soon as we get there and I get out of the car and barely make it. I am dizzy and become a little nauseous. I am in so much pain from the car ride I can hardly sit down. Somehow I make it through dinner, again going to the bathroom about 4 times during the meal. On my last run out of the bathroom I realize I am getting very dizzy so just walk straight outside for some fresh air since everyone was finished eating.
Too late! I made it to the vehicle but up came all that rice! EWWW!!! I reallly hadn't thought about it, but I guess we really don't chew rice? Or at least I didn't that meal. Was a bit gross if you ask me. You can even go back to my post the day of my surgery (Zen anyone) and read those comments. I wasn't going to bring it up,....but everyone else did. Sigh...
So, at this point things can only get better. Right? Well, one would think so at least. Next day I am in what I might consider a BIT of pain to say the least. I had a basket extraction of a ureter stone and had a stint put in. I was in SUCH tremendous pain from all that pressure I thought about just extracting my entire bladder. No, for REAL - I really thought about it.
Again, I'm thinking my honey will take care of me though. Umm, honey!? Isn't that right? Yoo-hoooo...!!!??? Well, turns out he went to work that day and left me alone. Hey, I can't get out of bed but that's ok! That night I am once again taken for, you guessed it, Mexican food! Yummmy!!! So, I come home and prompty throw that up as well. I call the doctor and let him know something has gone awry and he says to go ahead and pull out my stint. It will be ok, there must be a blockage or something. Hmm, ok I think. I will try anything at this point.
So I go into the restroom and I pull, and I pull. I pull some more and I think that at about this point it must be my intestines that are about to come out. Let's say the word together "STINT". Doesn't that sound like such a tiny short thing? Well, I have decided to just quit assuming things in this life. The thing is not an inch, not even 6 inches, but about 16 inches!! So I finally get the thing out and here comes honey. What in the world is going on in here he wants to know? (Turns out there was a blockage behind the stint.) And WHO is cleaning up this mess? Grrr...
Next day, I am feeling a little better and think I may finally keep down food and sleep the night through. I do keep all my food down. My sister brought me a baked chicken dinner while my SOB (oops that was a typo), errrr, ummm SO was at the office. But turns out it was my worse night yet. I am tossing, turning, hurting, aching, shaking, and everything else in between. I tried to go on the couch, but thought I may be more comfortable in the bed and went back to try the bed one last time. My honey says, well...no if's, and's, or butt's, something has got to be done here... OH! I am thinking! He DOES have a heart! He is thinking I shouldn't have to endure such pain anymore! He does care! I am about to have a surge of guilt for all those awful things I was calling him in my head and then....yes. Then the rest of the sentence spills out of his mouth. "I have got to get some sleep here..." Oh brother! I was keeping him awake.
Monday morning finally comes, I have been taking pain meds and am unable to drive. I haven't slept ALL night long, keep in mind. My honey asks me something about taking my son to school. Not sure what. I wake up and call for him. I call for him again.... He is gone. So once more, like an idiot, I am calling through the house for someone who isn't there. The dog is looking at me and shaking his head like I should know better at this point. I shuffle out of bed. He must be here somewhere. I call him at his office, no answer. I call him on his cell phone no answer. I email him. Nada.
A little trivial but well-known fact here is that my honey is lucky enough to work for himself and on any given day can work at home -- right? Although he will always say he has stuff "piled up" at the office. Whatever! So I call my Mom who says she can drive me to the Dr's office. I was a little bit afraid that the doc might need to do something that might require some medication or something and I was still too sore to drive. Call honey again and leave him a message telling him to be sure and pick up son from school, and I'll try and get back with him so he can know the hospital room number since he has been so worried about me.
Turns out he went to work out with his trainer and THEN went to a tae kwon do lesson. The sad thing that I was going to leave out, but thought better of is that his trainer used to be MINE and the appointment time he was just allocated was also mine. He snatched it the second I was incapacitated. He says that when he woke up he tried to say something to me but I was unresponsive so he just left me. Good one! A person who is known to have been in tremendous pain and you wake up to and realize is non-responsive? The first thing that comes to my mind is to run right out and leave and go do all the things where I can't be reached and leave no note or message or ANYTHING. Better yet, KNOWING this person has a dr's appt and needs to be driven. His defense is, he thought I would be better off getting some rest. Umm, yeah...
And about the doctor's appointment? Well, isn't that what my Mom is for? Afterall, my honey has a business to run after all those hours stolen away by his physical maintenance. Right? Can someone please help me here? I will never understand this.
And the sad thing is,....wait until he gets a headache! The WORLD comes to an end. One time he had heartburn and we had to go to the Emergency Room and have him hooked up to an EKG. How embarrassing! So, you know all those Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus philosophies? I always thought that if I understood our differences, I could just accept them and move on. But, I just don't get it. Well, all I know is I hope I never get that sick again. We are all doomed...
Well, I guess that the end result is that I have to accept that I may NEVER understand our differences. As a woman, I must embrace this and move on...again. I guess I have painted my honey to look like a monster. I AM still calling him my honey though... ;) I guess his 'taking care' of me instincts are in different sectors than being my nursemaid. I definitely know where to go if I want a good spicy meal though!
Ok, well I for one am not one that looks forward to reading a bunch of sappy posts BUT sometimes it is inevitable! (Like now.) Blame it on the holidays.
Thanksgiving brings up all sorts of memories for me, as I'm sure it does everyone. Fall, food, family, and football games. All "F"'s.... Ok throw in turkey and pumpkins? For some reason, my sisters and I have really been reminiscing here lately about family, past and presently living, and thinking of some wonderful and sometimes comical memories. Going to Grandma's house, my Aunt Edna's, etc.... “Making Memories…”, is what we call it.
As noted in my biography, I only knew one of my Grandfathers and he died before I was 3 years old. My Mom happened to ask me the other day what I remembered about him. Keep in mind, I have never seen a picture of him, but was able to accurately and perfectly describe him and the old house my Grandparents live in. Even though he wasn't around in my life, I have always remembered him, with and without his false teeth strangely enough.
I have always been a bit resentful of the fact that I am the youngest in both my paternal and maternal families and none of my Grandparents got to see my children, my marriage, my adulthood, etc. like everyone else before me. However, I have SO many things to be thankful of that it seems quite trivial now that I think of it. So, I am a little ashamed that I would even think that but it has helped me to keep the relationship between my children and my parents as open as I can without it being unhealthy.
I haven't always made the best choices in life, but I have learned from my experiences. Good, bad, or ugly the decisions and choices were mine and have shaped my character and the person I am today.
I have so many wonderful memories and things that have kept me going through my life. I only hope that I would have made my Grandparents proud. As I have been sick lately and running through all the possible things that could be wrong with me (you should see the list), I have been taking inventory of some things in my past and just really realizing how blessed I am. Just as my about me page sings "I have been blessed...", if you have speakers that is. I could go on and on here about my many blessings, but the most important thing of all is my FAMILY.
When I got married, I only wanted my 3 sisters as my bridesmaids. I have seen so many wedding albums with the 'friends of the month', etc as maid of honor and I wanted to be able to go back and see how we stood together. I am the youngest of 3 girls so have not had an easy life, being that I've been bossed around a bit. Ha! But what I wouldn't give for my sisters.
I want to take this opportunity to let my family know how much I care for them. I love you each and every ones and I am thankful that we are a family. I thank God for my healthy children everyday. Bless you and your loved one on this upcoming Thanksgiving and remember all you have to be thankful for, and remember sometimes in life we don't always understand the reason behind everything but must accept it and move on, trying to make the best of each situation. Also, remember you maybe setting an example or 'making a memory' for someone in the future...with or without your false teeth! :) I am a living example of this.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." --Proverbs 3:5
Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week (like moui), you need some silliness to break up the day. Here is your dose...
Follow the instructions to find your funny name. The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names. Lest we take ourselves too seriously, take a moment to find your new name and wear it with humor for the day ...
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:
a = stinky
Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of
your NEW last name:
Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of
your NEW last name:
Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.
Clinton's new name is Booger Liverchunks.
Ok so as some of you may know....I had a little surgery today. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. I went to see my doctor on Tuesday and he wanted to do a little day surgery on Thursday. I have been complaining for way too long and my big sister said enough is enough! And so she set me up an appointment with the doctor and it all snowballed from there. Now, for those of you who don't want to hear the gory details and believe that this is TOO MUCH INFORMATION, stop here.
If you are still reading this, you have voluntarily forfeited the right to complain that this was gross. The operation to be done was a cystoscope with a ureter stone basket extraction. My doctor wanted to look around with a fiber optic camera and see what was going on in my bladder then if the stone that he believed to be there was in the right location, he would then pull it out via basket extraction. I went into this knowing right from the start that this wasn't going to be a trip to Disney, nevertheless -- I was optimist to find out what was causing my pain. It was bad enough that my Mom, fluent in all medical terminology, kept informing me that a friend just had this done; it was EXTREMELY painful and that they yanked the stone out with some kind of bucket. Okay, Mom are you sure it wasn't like a tiny rake or maybe a 'basket' type instrument, as per the name? Nope! It was a bucket! Note: This is also the same woman who says that people who have the skin rash rosacia have 'rotation'. I love you, Mom!
For starters, everyone (at least 5 staff members at the hospital) kept asking me what procedure I was having done. HELLO? Shouldn't you guys know this already? They say that I should be glad they were asking because you don't want to have an operation in a hospital where there isn't a constant cross-check of information. I was satisfied with that. Afterall, I didn't want to go in for a in-grown toenail and end up donating a body part -- right?
The anesthesiologist comes in and asks my allergies, I tell him pain. He goes a little further in my chart and flips to a page and says that I needed to initial 1 more page. What is that I said? Well, the one that says I don't have an advanced directive? Huh? A DNR. Huh? A do not rescusitate. Ok, NOW my confidence level is soaring throught the roof. He laughs if off and starts an IV. I ask him if he is getting ready to put me to sleep and he says NO, not unless he can talk me to sleep. Fine, I say just let me know when. He then puts into the IV what he calls '10 margaritas'. I once again, ask him if he is getting ready to put me to sleep (sounds strangely familiar with a bad veterinarian experience once but that's another story). Again, he says NO -- and he will surely let me know before he does so. Fine. I am then wheeled into another room where I see many assistants and my doctor, and I am at peace with the world because my margarita party has already started. The anesthesiologist wanted to be sure my oxygen level is good so he says take some deep breaths into this mask. Ok, I breathe in... I breathe out. Oh, Chana! You can do better than that, let's get lots of good oxygen to those lungs. Again, I breathe in... I breathe out. One more time please? I breathe in... I breathe out.
Next thing I know,...there is a silent movie going on before me. No, wait that's someone talking. I try to open my eyes but they are fluttering, giving an old movie reel gone bad effect. That's my DOCTOR talking. "Here....now.....fine. " Something stuck in front of my face in a vial and he's gone. Hmmmm......
Well I finally figure out when I wake up in recovery much later that a) never believe an anesthesiogist; b) my doctor prefers to talk to me when I am near comatose and cannot respond c) I now have 2 'stints' in my bladder that will need to be PULLED out in an office procedure on Monday. Umm, HELLO??? I would have never volunteered for this knowing that stuff was going to be put in and NOT taken out while I was still asleep! What am I? His personal zen garden? Wahhhhhhh........
I see the stone, or calcium formation, that came out of my ureter. It is about 8 mm wide and had sharp jagged edges which kept me from passing it. OUCHIE!
I was also told I have a HUGE kidney stone that will need to be, and yes they really said this... BLASTED so I can pass it. It was too big to pass and could be causing a threat to me. Well, can we do this when I am asleep again and you take these stints out at the same time I am wondering? Only I don't get to ask because doc has left the building. So, I am left to fill in the blanks with my oh so ever medical informed family. I wonder if my Mom ever saw the bucket they used?
Give me a break
So, J went back to school on Monday after a week long sabbatical. Went to the school office and got him all fixed up for returning. There is a breathing machine in the school clinic and I was told that J could use this. I took his medicine and doctors notes but needed to get the tubing and mouthpiece for the breathing machine because those things can’t be shared. Made sense to me. So, because I still wanted to have one at home, being the silly over-protective Mother I am, I jaunt on up to the pharmacy and ask for an extra mouthpiece and tubing for the breathing machine. My response is a cold stare. I am informed quite bluntly that I will need to get a prescription for this. HUH? This is all new to me. I just got a breathing machine and all the meds here. I need to get a prescription. They know I have such equipment and I only need these extra pieces for the school. I still need a prescription. Ughhhhh…… I could understand if I was asking for extra medicine or even needles, but TUBING and a mouthpiece?? Do I even want to know what group of people ruined this for us? Sheesh!
So, I call the doctor’s and get the prescription. Fine.
I am so exhausted after this, but go to my parents’ house to rouse through their newspaper to send to S later. I sit down on the couch and fall asleep. I wonder if my Mother noticed that I was sleeping?
NEXT, I decide that I will proudly show my new weblog page to my significant other. Well BIG mistake. This is the same person that when asked how these pants look on me or which pair of shoes look better with a certain skirt, will merely respond indifferently that it all looks good. So, great. I’m thinking I’ll get a WOW, nice job here. WRONG! The 3 column lay-out is just not good and didn’t I know that pink and green do not go together? Okay, so where has my honey been all these years while I’m wearing my pink and green clothes? Well, I believe that someone else must think they belong together because after all it is a template choice. And goes with the whole bunny burrow theme. Am I right? Grrrrrrrr…….. Not exactly the kudos I was looking for here. Well, the most important thing is that I like it.
NEXT, I get a phone call from my 12 year old, S, who reports that he has made absolutely NO progress last week. After listening to his explanation that he was merely “acting a fool”, I let him know that this was no excuse. He can do better than this. He then proceeded to say he couldn’t hear me and that there must be a bad connection. Suspicious, hmmmmmmm…….??
Typical Monday, well the good news IS the week can only get better from here! Yes, the glass IS half-full.
My son, J, has been sick for a week now. He is going back to school tomorrow! Woohoo!! Actually, woohoo on 2 accounts: I am glad he is well AND I am glad he will not be at home.
He really likes school and it has been a real challenge to have him at home with me 24/7 and he not being able to play very actively. Supposedly he may have exercise-induced asthma symptoms so we have to be real careful about his activity level for now. So, after a week of me giving him breathing treatments and sleeping with a virtual monkey I think he is going to make it.
I went to his school and got his work for the week and brought it home. It was quite the stack, I must say. After I told him to do his homework he worked on it for a few minutes and said he was done! So I believed him! Ha! Seeing stacks of undone papers the next day, I asked him why he told me he was finished and he replied that he was done with his homework. However, he hadn't done his 'classwork' and that's not what I told him to do. Okayyyyyyyy.... So, then I told him to do all the classwork that we had brought home. Still, the papers lay unfinished. The answer to this was that 'we' didn't bring any classwork home, I did and therefore he was unsure of what to complete.
Ughh!! I have to say EXACTLY what I mean or else this little one just does not get it. It is black and white, no gray areas. I told him to go get his blanket off of the sofa and he couldn't do that because we called that piece of furniture the 'couch' and he was just not used to such a term.
I also told him that some of his school/home/classwork (take your pick) was on the bar, and he was appalled to think we had a bar in the house! I had to remind him it was the breakfast bar and it's where he sat on the barstool every morning and had breakfast. Also, his drink was on the island in the kitchen. WHO ever heard of an island in someone's kitchen? Well, needless to say I for one am glad the little bumpkin is feeling better! Say a little prayer for him as he goes back to school this week. He has some catching up to do and apparently some vocabulary to learn. :0)