Bunny Burrow

Happy Early Father's Day

I always wish my Dad could be here with me now.  I have wished it so bad, it physically hurts.  I always wonder, what he would think about my life now.   I went to a wedding recently and watched the Father-Daughter dance and about fell to pieces.  My Dad didn’t get to do that for me. 

(Insert fancy flashback intro)

I am in high school.  I am in the drill team (like that is a big surprise) and we are having our end of the year ‘stage show’. Woohoo! 

You know when you are in high school and you just can’t see life past graduation?  Yeah, I was there.  High school was big time and I had a big blonde helmet head….

Anyway, I was in a special group of girls that got to choreograph a dance on our own and we all chose to do one with our fathers.  It was a fun upbeat dance with us in poodle skirts and our Dad’s in jeans and white t-shirts and penny loafers.   All the Dads played a silly instrument and my Dad played the guitar.  Yep!  Front and center!  We found him a small Mickey Mouse guitar to strum to the beat of the song – Bop With Ya Baby by Dan Seals.

The night of the dance, the audience ooo’ed and awww’ed and laughed and loved it!  It was definitely a hit.  There I was in my pink poodle skirt and saddle shoes skipping around and dancing with my Dad with a big plastic grin on my face so big that my lips were quivering and starting to hurt!  You have to know that my Dad did NOT dance in public and he certainly didn’t SING.  He was a bit of an introvert but there was in all his glory – just for me.

So, the dance is over and my senior year ends.  I waltz into college and adult-hood, packing away the drill team uniforms and poodle skirts.  My Dad approached me one day and asked what he was supposed to do with his Mickey Mouse guitar.  I looked at him puzzled…  He produced his guitar from the stage show and said he would keep it ‘safe’ in the event we needed it some day.

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head and went about my business.  First of all, if I had children they were certainly going to be quiet shy little girls and not prone to rowdy guitar playing.   What was he thinking?

About 6 months after my first son was born (wink, wink), my Dad pulled out the Mickey Mouse guitar with a big smile.  I’m sure there is a picture somewhere of Shane and Papa with that plastic thing plucking away.   As I stand swaying and rocking Shane to sleep later like only a Mom can do, I see the guitar mixed in with his toys and think about the dance.

Time has moved on, my 2 children (both BOYS) are about to turn 17and 13 this summer.  My parents have moved twice since I was in high school and Dad has been gone now for 2 and half years.

Mom met me for lunch and as I turned to leave, she said she had something for me and we went to her car.  She pulled out the Mickey Mouse guitar from the front seat and handed it to me.  He kept it and moved it with him all that time!  She said he kept it safe in the attic for me. 

Wow!

I went home and told my husband the story.  His response was, “What are you supposed to do with that thing now...?” 

As I sat there not knowing how to respond, I realized he just didn’t get it.

That guitar will be with me forever no matter what, but what a token and symbol! 

I sometimes feel odd talking to people bout the grief of my Dad.  You see, in my mind – people who don’t have a close relationship with their Dads don’t really know the pain of what it is to miss that intimacy.  Yet, there is a different sort of torment and pain, the pain of not knowing and having that in a Dad at all?

I realize that no matter how much I miss my Dad, you can’t go back in time.  You must go forward, and with that – he really is still here.  His presence lingers if I pay close enough attention.  I really didn’t need a plastic Mickey Mouse guitar to remind me, but it definitely helped and just in time for Father’s Day.

I can still hear his voice, see his smile, smell his everyday smell and feel his hands in mine. 

Here’s to you Dad!

The Dance

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

-by Garth Brooks

Maximillion

I just found out that a border collie I used to have named Max, was put to sleep.  I had given him to my sister a long time ago when my son was small.  He was named after my ex-husband's video game character, Max Payne.  His full name was Maximillion. He was SUCH a good dog.

I always thought he had doggie OCD or something because his full time round the clock job was to patrol the fence line back and forth RELENTLESSLY.  This was to the point that no grass could grow in that area, EVER....    So, now I'm quite sure he is pacing the borders of doggie heaven.  Rest in peace, Max.

The way I found out was not the best of ways.. I just found out and apparently he was put to sleep on May 10th? 

This has not been the best week, not the worst but not the best.  I keep reminding myself that life IS good.  Isn't it?

Happy Birthday Dad

Dad,

If you were here today, you would have turned 76. 

I am working today, on your birthday.  As I sit at my desk and watch the senior men here going about their daily life, I wonder WHY are they here?  WHY aren't you?  The truth is, I'll never know why. 

I just got off the phone with Mom. She's doing okay today. 

We both wish you were here with us but not selfish enough to want that at the cost of your pain and suffering.

I talked to Jennifer about making some type of strawberry dessert today.  As I sat and wondered if I could get through a piece of strawberry shortcake, something amazing happened.  A very special resident here (one of the ones that I sit and wonder "why?"), Billy, came into my office and brought me a fresh bowl of strawberries and some dipping sauce.  He has NO idea!

I told him what today was and he pulled up a chair and we shared a very special bowl of strawberries in your honor.

If you were here today, you would have met my husband, seen my new house, know about my new job, seen Shane turn 16 and get his learners permit to drive and went with us to Aunt Edna's grand-daughter's wedding just in this last year.

As I sit thinking about you today and getting a more than a little misty-eyed, I find myself missing your blue eyes and ever present strong hands that were always there for me. 

I am going to go home and hug my children as soon as I can.  Maybe one day they will look back and remember my hugs too?

We did alot of outooorsey things this weekend while camping, one of which was dirtbike riding/4-wheeling with all the boys.  FUN!

Danny and I were both on 4 wheelers out in the middle of an enormous field with a huge incline.  He was revving up (showing off) and climbing the hill as fast as he could.

So,..he says: Wanna come climb the hill with me?

ME: Yeah!

Danny: I'll even give you a head start. Come on!

I sped over there and got about 1 4-wheeler length in front of him as he yelled "GO!"

THE POWER of that 4-wheeler climbing that hill!  Kicking up mud and grass, hay and anything else in my path.  The wind in my face and the sun on my back!  It was GREAT!

I never saw him until the end where as I turned to look at him, he smirked.

Me: (GRINNING)Well?

Danny: I DID give you a head start!

MEN! (I'll bet he doesn't do that again!)

Happy St Patrick's Day

Don't forget to wear green and make me one of THESE later:

The Ideal Irish Coffee

Too cute not to mention, my neighbor's 3 year old Megan said THIS to me while camping this weekend, "I am ADDICTED to milk!" (Will post pics soon.)

And NOT that anybody in my household would do this BUT is it safe to bathe your new white puppy in green Kool-Aid for St. Patrick's Day???

For your viewing pleasure

Usually the Bunny Burrow is very friendly but I just have to do this.

Here, for your viewing pleasure is a (ALMOST not safe for work) peep show.

Currently wondering...

WHY when you are sitting at a fast food restaurant in a booth with PLENTY of other seating available, someone finds it necessary to not only sit in the booth right in front of you but also FACE you.

WHERE am I supposed to look?  GRRRR..!!!

Is it Friday yet?

Although I'm not sure why I want it to be Friday -- I have to WORK this weekend! And I am so looking forward to that.  Sigh...

Let me start by saying where I sit, I have the only computer that can manage our front door entry system where I work so I get the privilege of updating it and managing it.  The only problem is I really haven't been given any training so I am winging it.  Do you foresee problems?  Yeah, me too!

Well, I recently got a new computer and there was lots of data being transferred to it, etc.  Someone from the corporate office came and scooted the new smaller tower computer to the very edge of my desk and attached it to a cord from the wall to "receive" the information I needed to continue taking care of the front door system. The cord was removed, the computer put back in place and business was back to normal.

From then on, the front door has not worked in several areas. I deleted, re-added, reconfigured and there was just nothing I could do anymore.

Again, the man from corporate comes back out.  The first thing he does is pick up the unattached cord and dangle it asking me why it wasn't plugged in??  Well, I didn't know it was SUPPOSED to be plugged in.  I had never had it plugged in before?

That's because, apparently, it was always plugged in being that I had a floor computer tower versus a desk tower and I needed to plug it in every time there was an error, change, addition, etc.

Umm, I didn't know that! GRRRR!!!

I feel like SUCH a blonde.  If that isn't bad enough, one of my co-workers witnessed this and told me a joke:

"What do you call a blonde with 2 black eyes....?   Someone that had to be told twice!"

HUH?

Then a later joke was..."What do you call a blonde with 1 black eye....? A quick-learner!"

Please, forgive me for not falling off my chair with laughter!!!

ANYWAY, my Mom had a minor surgery yesterday so keep her in your prayers.  I want her to keep up her always good spirits and not worry about anything.

Also, today is my good friend Joy's 29th Birthday AGAIN (wink, wink)!  Say Happy Birthday to Joy! She is a snoopy lover so this is for her:

Lunar Eclipses and Lunacy?

Jennifer was over and I was asking her if she was able to see the Lunar Eclipse that just happened on February 21st.  She did NOT so we were talking about it and just exactly what it is...

Danny happened to be sitting in the room with us so we started talking about the Solar Eclipse also.  Jennifer didn't really know what this was and after it was explained, she said "Wouldn't it be neat if this happened during the day so we could all see it??"

Well, I wasn't sure what to say and looked at Danny with a big grin when he said THIS: 

"Umm, well I wouldn't be talking too much BLONDIE!  Why don't we get tickets outside the stadium to watch it?"

Well, I still thought it was funny!

Wild Weekend Without Kids

This next weekend we have NO Kids!!!

NO KIDS I TELL YOU!  Now, don't get me wrong.  We love our kids, really we do.  OUr children are indeed gifts from God and we are truly blessed in that respect.  A weekend without kids is like a weekend without... how about you finish that sentence for me in your own words??

Here are some things we have thought about doing so far:

1. Eat bag of Oreos with milk in its entirety for a meal
2. Run around naked
3. Slide down the bannisters (this would NOT be while doing #2)
4. Drink straight from the orange juice and/or milk jug
5. Sleep until NOON
6. Watch movie that does not include animation or super heroes
7. Go to the bathroom without the peace of mind knowing that NOBODY is going to come pounding on the door

Okay, so what did I leave out?